


Christmas in Stockholm Sequel

by miriamsc



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 08:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miriamsc/pseuds/miriamsc
Summary: Baekhyun wakes up in a hospital with a crick in the neck and memories of a sadist who just so happens to be his first love.





	Christmas in Stockholm Sequel

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a continuation of the story Christmas in Stockholm, which is not mine. You should read it before this.  
> ( https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1054050/christmas-in-stockholm-angst-exo-baekhyun-chanyeol-baekyeol )  
> The original story does not have a happy ending, which is why I decided to make my own. Triggers include: Mentions of emotional abuse, Mentions and attempt at suicide, Strong language, quite bad smut  
> (and top!Baekhyun for those of you who don't like that)

Baekhyun groaned as cold white lights reached his retinas, making his eyes burn. Disorientedly, he checked up on himself.   
There was something soft and cushiony pressing against his back, it felt nice.  
Apparently, he was in a lying position on his back, staring at a ceiling. Little particles of dust danced and glittered in the blinding light. They were beautiful. Baekhyun found himself smiling and quite entertained at the sight. It was somewhat calming.   
He didn't know where he was, but there was light. That was a good start. He tried to turn his head to look around the room, yelping when a cruel pain shot up his cervical spine. He could hardly move his head, so he had to turn his entire upper body in order to look around. His sight was slightly blurry, possibly from the tears that had entered his eyes upon the excruciating assault they had fallen victim to when Baekhyun first opened his eyes a few minutes ago.   
As he looked around the room, he noticed that it was very white. That was it. Just white. No personal touch anywhere, no speck of colour, just whiteness. What was the last colour Baekhyun had seen anyways? He thought it was brown. A beautiful set of brown eyes.  Then he remembered. Chanyeol. Chanyeol killed him. So, was he in heaven now? It would explain the exaggerated brightness of his surroundings. But then, did people feel pain in heaven? Also, why would trash like him deserve a place in heaven?   
Baekhyun shifted, grunting at the unpleasant feeling in his neck and looked around, while blinking the blurriness away. The place looked like... a hospital? Maybe Chanyeol didn't kill him, after all. Maybe he regretted trying to kill Baekhyun and he meant something to him all along. Maybe, just maybe, Chanyeol would come bursting through the door any second now, apologising and kissing Baekhyun, calling him beautiful once more, maybe even confess.   
Or maybe the next person coming through that door would be a nurse with hardly any enthusiasm for her job. Oh, well. A man can dream.   
“Sir, your spine is cracked lightly. It's not really anything spectacular, you'll probably even keep all you motoric skills. It looks like someone tried to break your neck but did a shitty job at it, making you pass out in pain and not bothering to check if you were really dead. Still, you are lucky Mr. Do found you in time, otherwise you would probably have frozen to death in that street. Beside your spinal injury, we found several internal bleedings and highly infected wrists, but you probably know that already. You'll be able to leave in about two weeks when we stabilised your neck enough to be sure you don't accidentally get a paraplegia by turning your head. Are there any questions or relatives who need to be informed about your current residence? “   
The nurse blandly threw those words at him like a well-learnt poem she was reciting for the nth time, quickly rattling down the sentences without any trace of care or compassion. Baekhyun shook his head at her questions and then winced. The woman just rolled her eyes at him and left, shutting the door quite noisily.   
Baekhyun leaned back and processed her earlier words. So, some Mr. Do found him in a street, huh? Baekhyun chuckled drily to himself. What did he expect? For Chanyeol to buy him a marble coffin after disposing of him in such a way? It was stupid, really. Baekhyun was well aware that someone like Chanyeol could never fall for someone like Baekhyun who wasn't worth anything. Hell, Baekhyun didn't even have a home. It's just that he, very deep down, had wished for Chanyeol to prove him wrong about his own worth.   
Another noise akin to laughter filled the empty space of Baekhyun's room, but it was hollow and bitter, making the little space seem even more hostile and unfriendly than it already was. Baekhyun pulled his mouth into a grotesque grin. How stupid was it to fall for your captor? He should be thanking the heavens he was alive instead of moping over being thrown away by some rich kid. But he wasn't. He never was. He didn't deserve to be alive. Not that he deserved death, either, given it would offer an end to his suffering. That's what Chanyeol told him, anyways. But Chanyeol also told him he was beautiful. His heart clenched at the thought. He missed him. 

Baekhyun's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. As it opened, there stood a short man with large eyes and plump lips, smiling awkwardly and fidgeting on the spot. “Hi, I'm Do Kyungsoo, I'm the one who found you the other day... “ The man stopped in his sentence, playing with his fingers. “I... uh, I guess I wanted to check up on you? “   
The man was cute, he looked at Baekhyun almost frightfully, but the most prominent emotion in his face was curiosity. Baekhyun gave the man a weak smile, he deserved at least that much for saving his unwanted life. “Nice to meet you. I'm Byun Baekhyun, thank you for saving my life. “ Mr. Do retorted the smile more confidently now, acknowledging Baekhyun's introduction with a nod. “I'm sure everyone would have done the same, Mr. Byun. “   
Baekhyun's smile faltered for a second as he thought of all the people who took advantage of his situation, the reasons he had turned into a thief, then a whore and finally, almost a corpse, reminding him that saving Baekhyun's life was, in fact, not something everyone would do. As he looked back at Mr. Do, the man's facial expression was one of complete conviction. Baekhyun chuckles a little. An idealist. How cute.  
 The man cocks his head. “Is there something wrong? “ Yes, your view of the world. “No, nothing. “ Baekhyun shakes his head. It's nice to meet someone who shows kindness without expecting anything in return. Mr. Do furrows his brows. “Do you, perhaps, know who it was who tried to kill you? “ Baekhyun held his breath and closed his eyes for a second. He saw pale skin, plush lips, a beautifully sculpted nose and gorgeous eyes, so deep he could get lost in them for ages, but also so very cold. It was funny how Baekhyun used to convince himself that there was something in those eyes, something like sincerity and actual affection. He scoffed at himself.   
“No, sorry. I don't know. “ Mr. Do looked at him with suspicion. “Given your injuries, you must have been with them for several months. Have you never heard a name or anything? “ Park Chanyeol. His mind shouted but his heart refused to let the name slip. “No, they always wore a mask and didn't talk to me. “ Lies. Mr. Do seemed convinced for now as he nodded. “Be sure to go to the police in case you remember anything. We can't have a psychopath running around and killing people. “  
 Baekhyun nodded with no intention of keeping the word. Mr. Do seemed to sense his discomfort with the topic because he quickly coughed and asked “So... How long until you can go home? “ I have no home. I don't deserve one. “In about two weeks. “ The man smiled. “That's great. I'm sure your family is already really worried. How come I've never seen them around yet, anyways? “   
Baekhyun smiled wryly, just a curl of the corners of his mouth. “They're busy, I suppose. “ Baekhyun couldn't bring himself to tell the kind man the truth, he seemed too sheltered to even be aware that there is something like orphans. Mr. Do let out a noise of outrage. “So what? You're in the hospital, someone tried to murder you! How is anything more important? “ Baekhyun felt flattered at the worry in the man's tone, even though he wasn't worth it. It was soothing, to feel like someone cared. “It's alright, I'm sure they'll come around eventually. I'm really grateful, you have done so much for me, but you shouldn't waste your time with someone like me, who—“  
Baekhyun didn't get to finish his sentence. “Someone like you?! What is that supposed to mean? “ Baekhyun almost cowered in his bedsheets, Mr. Do had a mean glare. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked like he was ready to breathe fire at any moment. It was scary. He wrecked his brain for an excuse for his little tongue-slip, the sudden change in Mr. Do's mood having surprised him so much that he felt adrenaline rushing through his veins.   
“I just mean that you don't know me, I could be a murderer or something. “ Baekhyun brushed it off with a nervous laugh. Warning others about not trusting strangers, nice going. A little voice in the back of his head mocked, but he ignored it. Mr. Do seemed to not fully accept the answer but he didn't pry, only stabbing Baekhyun with his gaze in case he let anything else slip. Baekhyun gave him an innocent smile before awkward silence filled the room, only interrupted when Mr. Do took a phone call and excused himself for the rest of the day. Baekhyun huffed out a breath of relief and sunk back onto his pillow. 

The two weeks in hospital went by rather quickly for Baekhyun, who was used to being bound to the bed and unable to do anything by now. He had spent eleven months with Chanyeol,  he had realized upon catching a glimpse at the calendar outside his room. To think that Chanyeol actually kept him for so long made his heart flutter, although it really shouldn't. He mentally cursed himself for still thinking of Chanyeol in a romantic way after the man kept him prisoner, tortured, raped and tried to kill him.   
Then again, why wouldn't he? It was what he deserved, after all. How could a street rat as lowly as Baekhyun ever dream of being anything at all?   
This was the part he should be mad at himself for. For hoping, not for falling.   
Baekhyun smiled a little after he stepped out of the hospital. Not because he was happy but because Kyungsoo (as he's been told to call him) was there. He wouldn't want to shatter the man's wish to have done something significant in saving his life by showing him how much he lacked will to live.  
 “Can I take you somewhere? You don't have money to buy a train ticket or something... “ That was true, in fact, Baekhyun was found naked as Kyungsoo informed him one day, much to his mortification. An irrational and stupid voice in his brain that wasn't as small as Baekhyun would have liked it to be gushed about Chanyeol keeping his things. That meant he wanted to remember him, right?   
Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo. “No, thank you. You've really done enough and I don't live far from here. “ Besides, I'm not getting in a stranger's car anytime soon.   
Not that Kyungsoo was a stranger, Baekhyun found himself quite enjoying his company even, but Baekhyun preferred telling himself that instead of admitting to himself that he was ashamed of his lack of home.   
Kyungsoo frowned. “Alright then. But call me up if you need something, yes? “ Baekhyun smiled. If he ever had a mother, this was what he would have liked he to be like. Caring, but not pushy. “I will.“ Baekhyun didn't even own a phone, but he assumed that Kyungsoo would forget about him soon, anyways, so why worry him? He hugged Kyungsoo farewell, he'd miss him. Then he turned and left, pretending to know exactly where he wanted to go. 

He didn't. Baekhyun sighed, his feet hurt, he was exhausted and the ache in his heart that Kyungsoo had managed to dull during the last two weeks was back at full force. Whenever he turned, he saw Chanyeol's face, pieces of dialogues he heard as he was passing by people were suddenly spoken in a low, husky voice that used to tell Baekhyun he was beautiful.   
Baekhyun turned to a dark alley. It didn't look very inviting, but it was small enough to go almost undiscovered and it certainly wasn't broad enough to fit any gang or something similar. Baekhyun sighed as he sank down on the ground that no one even bothered to pave. The hospital bed was a luxury compared to this, but Baekhyun would make it do. He had always found a way and right now, he was tired enough to fall asleep anywhere.   
He's been walking the entire day, he guessed, given that he left the hospital at ten in the morning and it got dark hours ago. Baekhyun shifted, wrapping his arms around himself and bringing his knees under his chin to prevent his teeth from clattering. It was freezing, even for a November. Baekhyun closed his eyes and focused on his breath to prevent the cold from seeping into his consciousness. He lived through winters before, he would live through this one as well. And if not, who cared?   
If tomorrow someone found him, frozen like an icicle, no one would come to give a damn. No friends, no family, not Chanyeol and certainly not Baekhyun himself. He didn't mind the thought of dying, surviving just for the heck of it. Baekhyun smiled at the thought of being able to leave this place of cruelty and selfishness. How there were angels like Kyungsoo in such a corrupt world, he didn't know. He fell asleep with a prayer on his mind, for the man who had saved his miserable life as well as for the man who tried to take it. Please let Chanyeol find peace.   
Baekhyun woke up completely numb. He didn't feel his fingers nor his toes, his arms and legs and ears completely frozen. He stretched and almost cried at the pain of feeling his hot blood shoot through his chilled limbs. His entire body felt like it was on fire. So I didn't die, after all. “Huh. “ What a pity. Baekhyun stood up and headed for the streets, it was way too early for him to offer his services to some lonely old man. They only came with the darkness. Baekhyun could only hope he wouldn't accidently call out a wrong name when pretending to have fun.   
He smiled at a passer-by only to feel an elbow digging into his ribs harshly. “Damn good-for-nothing beggars. “ Baekhyun glared. A later time of the day and you would pay to be with me. He sighed and headed for the red light district of the city. It would take him a while to get there by foot, anyways. It wasn't like Baekhyun went there often, he'd get enough customers anywhere, only today he felt hungry and desperate enough to not take any chances. 

Baekhyun looked around uncomfortably. He didn't belong here. He always felt like this if he made the decision to go to this part of the city. Sure, there were people just as poorly off as him, but at least there were pretty. They were dressed in revealing clothes, had their hair done and had make up to cover up the fatigue and illness in their faces. Amongst all the professionals, Baekhyun looked liked exactly what he was: a pathetic little homeless guy who tried desperately to survive for a reason he himself didn't know.   
A blonde prostitute with red lipstick and Smokey eyes joined him. She looked dashing compared to Baekhyun who wished to be able to just curl up in a ball and disappear. You're beautiful. Baekhyun flinched at the voice in his head. Strangely enough, it sounded exactly like Chanyeol. His back straightened a little. He may be filthy, disgusting and not worth even the clothes on his body, but at least he was beautiful. That was enough to survive for tonight.   
Baekhyun forced a smile on his face and started doing what everyone else did, striking sexy poses and catcalling everyone who looked like a potential customer. He felt disgusted with himself, but what was he to do? He had to survive, if only for the reason that he was too cowardly to let himself die. He smirked at a tall man who approached him and looked up at him through fluttering lashes. “Hello there. May I help you? “   
A grin decorated the previously stoic features of the guy, making him look ten years younger. “You may, actually. You see, my friend is trying to get over his crush. “ Baekhyun nodded, pretending to be thoughtful. “Huh, and how could I possibly help with that? “ He gave the man an innocent look that they both knew was fake. The tall man smirked at him before turning around and waving to someone.   
Baekhyun tried to catch a glimpse at his soon-to-be customer, but it was hard since the person was small and still struggling to push through the crowd. The voice however... “Sehunnie, I really don't like this idea of yours. What would make you think that paying for sex would rise my self esteem? “ Baekhyun knew that voice. He quickly peeked past said Sehunnie and caught a glimpse at the one person he wouldn't have expected to see in an illegal red light district. He saw Baekhyun, too, and his already wide eyes looked as if they were about to pop out.   
“Baekhyun?! “ Baekhyun wanted to disappear under Kyungsoo's stunned gaze. Sehun looked back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what was happening. “You're a prostitute? “ Baekhyun flinched. He looked to the ground in shame, this certainly wasn't how he wanted the kind man to find out. Actually, he hadn't wanted him to find out at all. Kyungsoo looked incredulous. Well, sorry you had to find out that the person you saved was nothing but scum. Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo timidly. “Well, a man's gotta eat. “ He tried joking. Kyungsoo squinted his eyes at him before grabbing his wrist and dragging him away from the crowd as well as from Sehun.   
“Explain. “ he demanded. Baekhyun shifted uncomfortably. “Sorry. “ Kyungsoo flicked his forehead. “That's not an explanation. “ Baekhyun was well aware of that. “Well, my parents are gone, everyone else was either abusive or a paedophile so I ran away. I've been living on the street for a while now. So... Sorry for letting you take waste your time with me, I just... I guess I liked the idea of someone caring for once. “   
Baekhyun let his head hang low and felt his entire body tense up in anticipation of a blow, if not physically at least some insults were to come. He flinched when his body came into contact with Kyungsoo's, but instead of hurting Baekhyun, the man wrapped his arms around his torso tightly, pressing him to his chest. “You poor thing. “   
Baekhyun could only stand there motionlessly, too taken aback to do anything else. He felt Kyungsoo's grip tightening around his ribcage --This is it, he's gonna squish me. Why do I even trust people in the first place?—before letting go abruptly. “When is the last time you've been given proper food if two weeks in hospital weren't enough to get some meat on your bones? “ Baekhyun lifted his gaze to meet Kyungsoo's eyes and shrugged lightly. If there was one thing Chanyeol did well, it was keeping him fed. Perhaps he was just naturally skinny.   
Kyungsoo clicked his tongue in annoyance. “This won't do. I'm taking you home. “ Baekhyun's eyes widened. He wasn't worth that. Unfortunately, Kyungsoo thought different and all Baekhyun gained from expressing his opinion was a flick on his forehead. “You need to stop thinking of yourself like that. Everyone can get unlucky. “ Baekhyun's jaw dropped for the nth time this evening. No one had ever told him that it wasn't his fault. Baekhyun's heart felt like someone had just poured warm wax into it. Tingly and full and warm, maybe even stabilizing it inside out once it cooled. It was nice, until he heard Chanyeol's voice in his head.   
“Do you seriously believe him? Do you really think that if you were worth anything at all, people would be treating you like this? “ Baekhyun felt his eyes tear up, but he obediently followed Kyungsoo home, he wouldn't give him any more trouble than necessary. Who did give a shit if Kyungsoo really turned out to be a psycho like Chanyeol? Kyungsoo apparently read Baekhyun's emotions on his face, because he smiled comfortingly.   
“You know, I can't prove you wrong when you thing all these bad things about yourself, but you can. I will offer you a place to live a living standard worthy of a human being until you are able to afford your own. I know no one would hire a homeless guy, especially not someone with legal intentions, but for now, you can call this place your home and instead of feeling useless, you will use your free time to look for a job. Sometimes all it takes is a second chance. “ Baekhyun could have kissed Kyungsoo if he wasn't still for some reason faithful to Chanyeol. What even had their relationship been in the first place? “Thanks. “  His voice cracked, but Baekhyun has never meant anything this much in his entire life before. 

“So, you can have this room. I can take you shopping tomorrow, for now you can just ask me for clothes if you need new ones, we should have about the same size. The bathroom is the second door to the right. If there's anything you need, ask me. I'm serious. If you bother me, I'll let you know. “ Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo and nodded. “For now, I should probably take a shower. “ Kyungsoo nodded enthusiastically.   
It wasn't too long since Baekhyun had last been cleaned, bit sleeping on the street and not changing clothes did leave an unpleasant scent on him. He didn't want to taint Kyungsoo's huge and expensive looking apartment with the odor, his presence was enough. With that thought in mind he stepped in the shower just to helplessly stand and stare at the amount of buttons and knobs he could be using. All he knew were communal showers with one button to make cold water fall from the shower head.   
Should he just try them out? But he didn't want to break anything. He didn't want to annoy Kyungsoo either, though. This was all so much easier when I was with Chanyeol. He pinched himself in the thigh harshly for such a thought but couldn't help finding that it was right. Sure, Chanyeol treated him like shit, but he also fed him and washed him and even tucked him in. Well, not that Baekhyun would have been able to do that with his hands chained to the bed. He unconsciously rubbed the scars that the cuffs had left on his wrists. They healed nicely, but they were still visible and probably would be for a long time. What a nice reminder of his first love.   
“Baekhyun? You've been in there for fifteen minutes now and there's no water running yet. You okay? “ Baekhyun flinched, then answered. “Yeah, uh... How do I work the shower? “ A chuckle made it's way through the door. “Turn the left knob for water and the intensity of the stream. The middle one changes the kind of stream and the right one is for the water temperature. “ Baekhyun nodded to himself. That wasn't too hard. He turned the left knob and squeaked when freezing cold water fell right on his head. Kyungsoo laughed from outside. Baekhyun turned the knob for the temperature and almost boiled himself alive. Kyungsoo laughed again. Baekhyun huffed. “Hey! This isn't that easy. “ Kyungsoo snorted. “Oh, please. You're acting like you've never taken a proper shower in your life. “ At that, Baekhyun remained silent. “... Oh. Sorry. “ Baekhyun grinned and shook his head although Kyungsoo couldn't see it. “It's okay. “ Then he focused on the feeling of hot water hitting his skin, warming him up and loosening his muscles for the first time ever. He almost moaned at the sensation. 

“So, Mr. Byun, why should we hire you? “ Baekhyun wriggled around on the spot. “Well, I don't have a great school report to show you or anything because I didn't get to finish school. But I'm a fast learner and good with people, so I think I'd be able to fit in if you'd hire me. “ The man's eyebrow raised. “Alright then, Mr. Byun. We'll call you. “ Baekhyun smiled tensely. “Thank you. “ He nodded and stood up to leave. Stupid. Applying without a report? Why not just let it be? Ugh. Why hire someone like me, anyways?   
Baekhyun sighed and headed for his next job interview. He was exhausted after the third and he still had five left. For today. He groaned and stretched his tired limbs. He's been repeating the same practised text over and over today and was slowly starting to feel like a robot. He had to admit that it did wonders for his self esteem to finally be able to try and take care of himself, but in the back of his head there was still Chanyeol's voice, telling him about his true worth. He took a deep breath and straightened his borrowed suit before entering the next manager's office. He still had a long way to go. 

Baekhyun sat in front of Kyungsoo's phone station, legs crossed and staring at it as if it was going to spew out all the answers to the universe in the next twenty seconds. It had rung three times so far. Two managers telling him how awfully sorry they were, but they have found a better person for the job. Baekhyun had thanked them and hung up. At least they had the decency to inform him. Still, it ruined his confidence. The last call was Jongin, a friend of Kyungsoo. The man had sounded way too nervous for this to be just a courtesy call, so Baekhyun had promised to inform Kyungsoo about it.  
 Baekhyun flinched when the phone went off and grabbed it immediately. “Hello? “ His voice sounded hopeful and way too desperate, but he didn't care right now. He needed a job, he was going insane sitting around and doing nothing. “Mr. Byun, we would like you to work with us. Obviously, we can't pay you fully right from the start, you will undergo a six month test phase if you choose to work with us. Please come to the following address tomorrow at ten. “ Baekhyun jumped up and scrambled to find a pen and a piece of paper, he was more than willing to get less pay as long as he got any at all. A huge, stupid grin settled on his face and wouldn't go away. He had a job. Kyungsoo would be so proud of him.   
“Is everything okay? “ was the first thing Kyungsoo asked when Baekhyun called him. Baekhyun smiled at his worry. “I have a job. “ He squealed into the receiver and he could basically hear Kyungsoo smile on the other end of the line. “Well, me too. Let's talk when I get home. “ Baekhyun's first friend ever said in a mock-stern voice. Baekhyun grinned and nodded. “Okay. “ Well, the man had spent enough of his own actual holidays in hospital with him, after all.   
“Oh, by the way, some Jongin called. “ Baekhyun pushed in quickly before Kyungsoo could hang up. “Really? “ Kyungsoo's voice sounded hopeful and a little breathy. Baekhyun just smirked and thought his part. “Yeah, something about a misunderstanding and a crystal. He wants you to call back. He sounded urgent. “ Kyungsoo just hummed thoughtfully. “Alright then, maybe I'll call him back. “ Baekhyun huffed. It sounded a lot like they had a fight. If that Jongin wanted to reconcile, maybe Kyungsoo should listen to what he has to say. But it wasn't Baekhyun's place to voice that opinion. He didn't know what he did, after all. 

“So, who is this Jongin? “ Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo knowingly. So far, his new friend hadn't called the man back. Baekhyun decided to give him a nudge. Jongin sounded sincere over the phone. Kyungsoo gave him an exasperated sigh. “You're not gonna leave me alone about this, are you? “ Baekhyun shook his head. “Fine. He's... a friend. Or something. I thought we had something, but it turned out that was just in my head after he hooked up with this girl. “ Baekhyun pouted. “Well, maybe it really was just a misunderstanding. He didn't sound like a jerk to me. “ Then again, neither did Chanyeol. “You should give him a chance. And if you don't believe him, maybe ask the girl about it before. If she's a half decent person, she'll tell you the truth. Maybe they're just close friends or something. “ Kyungsoo remained silent. Baekhyun sighed. Oh, well, he tried.   
Baekhyun yawned and stretched out on the couch one last time before heading for his room. “Fine, then. I should go to bed, I have to work tomorrow. “ He couldn't help but smile at his statement. It was an amazing feeling to finally have a possibility of taking care of himself for the first time in forever. It was empowering. He almost felt useful.   
Almost. Baekhyun lay in bed with his eyes wide open, thinking about everything that could go wrong. What if they notice that I'm actually just trash? Baekhyun pressed his lips together and tried to get rid of the thought. The last weeks have been good to Baekhyun, he finally had a safe home which didn't require him to spread his legs for anyone willing and Kyungsoo really should have become a motivational trainer. He was like a mother. A strict, sarcastic and sometimes slightly violent, but still loving mother. Baekhyun even called him mom in his head, although if he let it slip, Kyungsoo would probably castrate him. Not that it would matter. Now that he didn't have to, he'd never have sex with anyone ever again. He should have just become a monk in the first place. He giggled a little at the thought. He probably wouldn't have fit in there. What if I don't fit in at my new job? What if they fire me? What if I have to go back to the street? I just started to more or less care whether I survive. He forcefully pushed these thoughts aside and threw himself on his other side. 

Baekhyun didn't get a single bit of sleep. His nerves were eating him alive and now that he had to get up, he constantly felt his lids droop. Fantastic. He shook his head and forced some coffee down his throat. It was disgusting, but in his state of exhaustion, he couldn't afford thinning the beverage out with milk. He sighed into his cup and took another large sip, burning his tongue in the process. Stop whining, he mentally scolded himself, a few months ago you couldn’t even imagine such an opportunity. Now you'll take it and if you fail, you'll try again. It's not like Kyungsoo would kick you out.   
Baekhyun nodded to himself and got up, only to nearly bump into his roommate who stood in the back of the kitchen with a huge smile on his face. He shoved a giant lunch package into his hands. “Good luck. “ Baekhyun couldn't help the stupid grin on his face. “Thank you. Really. “ Kyungsoo nodded and looked after him with a proud smile. 

“So this is how the cash register works. We'll have you work with customers since you are a pleasant person. You don't look like you could lift much, anyways. If you have any questions just come to my office.” Baekhyun nodded and took a deep breath. It was easy enough, he could do it.  
His first customer was a pretty girl about his own age. He gave her a bright smile and wrapped up a dress, two sets of earrings and a five-pair pack of socks. “Thank you so much for coming here. Have a nice day. “ The girl blushed, giggled, and made her way out of the shop, squealing to her friend. “Tiff, he's so pretty. “ The other girl just rolled her eyes and scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Whatever, Taeng. “   
Baekhyun shrugged and directed his attention to a middle aged lady and her daughter. “Yes, Ma'am? Is there something I can help you with? “ The woman threw him a scrutinizing stare. “Do you have this dress in a different colour? “ She asked after what felt like forever. She motioned to the dress her daughter was wearing. Baekhyun blinked twice. He wanted to ask the woman about whether she was sure the piece was from this shop's assortment because frankly, it looked like a potato sack. He plastered the smile back on his face. “Uh, I can check, if you like. May I ask where you found this dress? “   
The woman led him to a stand. Now, Baekhyun actually recognized the dress. It was a nice dress, only the obviously pre-teenaged girl lacked the curves to fill it out. Is there a polite way of telling someone that their body didn't match their clothes? Baekhyun didn't think so. Instead, he lied. “No, sorry, this is the only colour this particular dress comes in. But there are plenty of other dresses in the back in the womenswear section. I could advise you, if you like. “  
He turned to lead the two to the back when a tall man with broad shoulders caught his eye He flinched.  It couldn't be him, could it? Very slowly, he turned his head to see the man's face. His heart was pumping so hard he could feel it in his head and adrenaline shot through his body. His entire mind screamed at him to run, only his body didn't react. Finally, he caught a glimpse of the man's face and he almost fainted in relief. He was gone. His breathing calmed down again and his shoulders slumped, although a part of him wasn't sure whether it was entirely out of gladness.   
He looked around to find no one had noticed his little panic attack, briefly cursed the effect Chanyeol still had on his mind after almost two months and followed the woman he was serving distractedly. He ended up selling her a more expensive, but also a lot more flattering dress. He couldn't bring himself to feel proud though, his almost-encounter had drained him. He smiled at the next customer. 

“Congratulations, Baek, you made it past your test phase. “ Kyungsoo smiled and raised his glass at him. Baekhyun beamed back. He has never been so happy. In just six months he had become irreplaceable at his job. He was pleasant to work with and agreeable with even the most difficult customers. Baekhyun was proud of himself, a feeling he had only learned in the last months. Pride. He didn't feel worthless anymore, in fact, he loved to live and he loved himself. A small part of him also still loved Chanyeol, but he understood the fact that the other had been cruel and Baekhyun didn't deserve his treatment. That itself was a big improvement. Baekhyun smiled right back at Kyungsoo and clinked their glasses together. He owed this man a lot, but he didn't worry. He would repay him, someday. Baekhyun then grinned at Jongin, Kyungsoo's boyfriend of three months (curtesy of Baekhyun's hours of coaxing and transmitting messages from one to the other) and drank up. He was content. 

 

Chanyeol was miserable. He hated himself beyond every belief. His goofy smile that once gave him the nickname happy virus was long gone, replaced by dark circles and red eyes. Those around him were at a loss. Nothing could cheer him up after his supposed break-up with the sweet boy he introduced to his family on Christmas over a year ago.   
He worried everyone, even servants whom he never treated well. He would stay out late and come home drunk out of his mind. Once, a servant tried to help him take off his clothes when he was too drunk to do it himself and Chanyeol had slapped the man right across his face, then spilling apologies and tears before the butler even hit the ground.   
His parents tried sending him to a therapist. Chanyeol went to every single appointment without fail, but instead of talking about his ‘heartbreak' like he was supposed to, he let himself be treated for anger and violence issues no one even knew he had. Word spread quickly that the young heir had gone insane, but Chanyeol didn't bat an eyelash at the paparazzi who were sucking up to him like leeches. He didn't care anymore. What were appearances, anyways?   
They were only brake shoes that kept him from getting what he deserved. Believe it or not, he had gone to the police. He had turned himself in for the murder of his love, and what did the fucking cops say? “You're drunk, Mr. Park. You're probably just imagining things. We'd prove it to you, but if we kept record of every homeless person, we'd have a lot to do. These people come and go as they please. “ The man at the office at chuckled a little, and just like that, the matter was swept under the rug. Because he was wealthy.   
Maybe Chanyeol didn't deserve to go to jail. Maybe his sentence for raping and killing an angel was to suffer alone. He would take it. He had told Baekhyun he took him because he was lonely. He had no idea of the meaning behind that word at that time. Chanyeol sniffled and hugged the pillow closer to his body. It was the same pillow Baekhyun had laid on for almost a year. It was the same pillow he had died on. No, he had been murdered on. The sweet boy with a smile as bright as the sun itself has been killed. By a monster. Park Chanyeol himself.   
The boy had said he wanted to die. He had repeated it frequently, and every time Chanyeol had shut him down. He told him he didn't deserve to die, and it was true. He deserved a life of being spoiled and pampered, made love to, not fucked. Chanyeol should have protected and cherished him, instead he had spent every bit of energy he had on destroying the lovely being that was Baekhyun. It was his kink and he couldn't stop himself. He never could.   
Chanyeol guessed he had succeeded in making the boy go insane. When Chanyeol had last heard his voice, Baekhyun was laughing and crying at the same time. He was hysterical, choking on his own cries and throwing violent coughing fits. It had broken whatever replacement of a heart that was beating in his chest and in an irrational decision the psychopath that took up a large part of Chanyeol's brain decided to show some mercy.  
He killed the boy and dumped him somewhere, his mind was hazy and he didn't even remember where he left Baekhyun. He has never slept through a single night since. Chanyeol stared at the ceiling, his eyes burned from dryness. He had shed every single tear in his system. He should have buried Baekhyun so he would have a grave to cry over, but he didn't think of it. Instead, he prayed to Baekhyun. There was not a single doubt in his mind that Baekhyun had returned to heaven, where he originally came from.   
Chanyeol smiled bitterly as he thought of the time when everything was alright. At the very beginning, when Baekhyun still had the courage to joke around him. He thought about how they instantly clicked and about how he fucked it all up when he forced himself on the boy for the first time. The innocence in the boy's eyes when he asked once again, Why him? was something Chanyeol would never forget. He had lived as a prostitute, for god's sake, how could he be so... pure?   
Baekhyun always looked so sweet, so kind, even as Chanyeol abused him for the nth time. There was never any malice in his eyes. Sure, there was suffering, lack of understanding and hurt. But never hatred and rarely fear. Even that day, when Chanyeol stormed into the room and took his life, Baekhyun didn't look mad at him. He looked tired and worn out. The last thing Chanyeol could see in the boy's eyes when he wrapped his hands around his neck were a sudden calmness and a warmth Chanyeol had never seen on anyone before. No one had ever looked at him with such gentleness.   
Chanyeol startled at the ring of his alarm clock and sat up automatically. Another night without sleep. It didn't matter. If he just fell over and never stood up again, he'd be fine with it. He hated going outside. He hated being confronted with people in front of whom he had to pretend he wasn't the worst person to walk this planet and crowds in which he saw glimpses of his angel's face only for them to disappear again. 

Chanyeol groaned and stretched. And entire day in an office chair didn't do his back too well. He sighed and made his way from the office. Here's to another sleepless night. He left the car in the office building's garage, he wouldn't drive home from the bar. If he wanted to die he could always do that in a way that didn't endanger others.   
His feet walked the by now very familiar way on their own, leaving Chanyeol alone with his thoughts. He sighed as his mind returned to the topic of Baekhyun again, repeating the discussion of what could have happened between them if only Chanyeol wasn't the monster and control freak he was. If he hadn't chained Baekhyun to his bed but instead asked for his number. They could have married.   
Chanyeol entered the bar. It was a rather nice place, considering what kind of people usually went to bars. Junkies, cheaters, depressed people and the occasional naïve mind that thought it was a good idea to go to a bar to celebrate.   
Chanyeol motioned to the bartender fir the usual, he was already well known here. Drinking, crying, passing out. Almost every day. At first, the staff gave him pitiful glances, but they were used to him by now. He was basically part of the bar. He stared at the table in front of him, not bothering to check his surroundings. It was none of his business who came and went here.   
He gulped down the bitter liquid, relishing in the burn it left in his throat. His speed of drinking was worrisome to say the least, he was about to get alcohol poisoning within twenty minutes. But that's what he was out to do anyways. Maybe it would kill him. He took another shot. 

As predicted, not even twenty minutes later, he hung over the toilet bowl, retching his guts out. He was disappointed in himself, he couldn't even keep the poison in his body long enough for it to actually do any damage. He sighed before his body convulsed in another heaving fit. There wasn't anything left in his stomach anymore, not that there has been very much in it before. Chanyeol had a tendency to forget meals.   
He sank down on the toilet floor, leaning against the cabin wall and closing his eyes in exhaustion. He just wanted to stop. To stop drinking, to stop suffering, perhaps even to stop breathing. When he opened his eyes, a glint caught his eye. He turned his head, just a little bit, and he saw a knife lying on the floor innocently. It was nothing big or fancy, just a five dollar pocket knife someone must have dropped.   
He picked it up. It was simple and certainly not razor blade level sharp, but it would cut skin if used with enough pressure. What would the papers say? Future CEO found dead in a bar toilet. Probably, that was the least offensive thing to write. Everyone knew not to insult his family, after all. The thought made Chanyeol smile.   
He turned the knife in his hand, causing it to reflect the dim bar lighting. It had something hypnotic and Chanyeol found himself staring at the blade for a good five minutes before finally placing it against his skin. The heart beats stronger on the left side, thus I should bleed out faster there, right? His mind managed to produce that thought and Chanyeol decided to give it a try. He slid the blade over his wrist and frowned. The cut was only shallow. He exercised the same motion again, with more pressure this time, and blood started flowing out of his veins. It was a tingly sensation once the initial sting had passed as his arm slowly grew numb. Red painted the floor and Chanyeol thought it was beautiful.   
He would finally die, he deserved to, anyways. He placed another cut, in the crook of his arm this time. That one hurt more, but it was a good kind of hurt. He watched as the liquid spilled on the dirty tiles. His vision became hazy. He wanted to place cuts on his other arm as well, right where the veins protruded, but he couldn't lift his arm. He grunted in frustration.   
He vaguely noticed the door being opened. “Alright, Soo, I'll be right back. “ Chanyeol smiled, enraptured. This voice sounded like his angel's. The handle on Chanyeol's cabin door lowered. Did I lock the door? He didn't. Chanyeol looked up at the figure that now stood in the cabin with him. He couldn't see anything, everything was fuzzy. Then he slipped into darkness. 

“Chanyeol? Chanyeol, hey, can you hear me? “ Chanyeol groaned. His head was pounding and the light was just way too bright. It hurt to open his eyes. When he did, though, he had to do a double take. How in the world would he land in the same afterlife as his angel? Because that's who was looking down on him with a worried frown on his face. Chanyeol didn't understand. He was supposed to go to hell, he killed someone! Chanyeol looked up at the beautiful man.   
“Baekhyun? “ he croaked, still trying to put the puzzle pieces together. The boy's shoulders slumped with relief. “Yes, yes that's right. Listen, you don't have to worry, you're at a hospital now. Everything is going to be fine. “ Tears slipped down the boy's face. It irritated Chanyeol. He willed his hand to move, which took more effort that he expected, and gently wiped the wetness off his love's face. Baekhyun flinched at first, but he let Chanyeol do as he pleased. “Baekhyun. “ Chanyeol said. It's been so long since that name left his mouth. “Yes? “ Chanyeol smiled. This felt so good. “Baekhyun. Baekhyun. “ He didn't even realize that he started to cry until a beautiful finger wiped along his face.   
Chanyeol sobbed and pulled the boy onto him. He gained weight. Chanyeol noticed with content. Then, he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, who was still frozen in shock. Chanyeol pressed his face in the crook of Baekhyun's neck and cried helplessly. He didn't know if his words were intelligible, but he apologized a thousand times, interrupted only by his ‘I love you' s. Baekhyun held still the entire time and just let Chanyeol wail. He awkwardly hugged Chanyeol back and patted his back, whispering soft reassurances while pressing his lips to Chanyeol's temple.   
Once Chanyeol calmed down to a certain degree, he looked up at Baekhyun. “How? “ He just asked. He needed to know how he survived. He needed to know what happened to him. And most importantly, he needed to know why the hell Baekhyun would save him instead of just leaving him to death on the bathroom floor.   
Baekhyun diligently answered his questions, except for the last one. Chanyeol didn't push it, he didn't deserve any of what Baekhyun gave him. Then it was Baekhyun's turn to ask questions. “Why would you try to kill yourself? You basically have everything. “ I don't have you anymore. Chanyeol wanted to answer, but it felt wrong binding the kind-hearted boy to him like a statement like that definitely would. Chanyeol was already more than glad that Baekhyun didn't seem to hate him.   
“I, uh, I was lonely. “ He said hesitantly, hoping not to be too obvious about his reasoning. Baekhyun sighed. “You don't have to be, you know? I mean, sure, kidnapping homeless people may not be the most humane method, but you could find yourself a girlfriend. Every kink can be talked through. “ Chanyeol almost laughed out. “Talked through? Baekhyun, I almost killed you. “ His voice cracked at the end of the sentence. “If you love her, you might be more careful. “ Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun unbelievingly. I love you, idiot. He almost blurted out, but instead opted for: “I don't want a girlfriend. “ He knew he sounded childish, but it was true. He wanted Baekhyun. No one would ever compare.   
“Then what do you want? “ Baekhyun asked patiently. How he kept his cool, Chanyeol didn't know. He was aware he was being difficult towards someone who would have every right to kick his butt, leave, and never come back, although the thought of Baekhyun actually doing that hurt. Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun's gorgeous face. He had matured over the last eight months. He was well-fed, but also well-trained. His jaw got sharper and in his eyes, there was no trace of a depression or a death wish anymore, only that warmth only he regarded Chanyeol with. The boy could hardly be called boy anymore.   
Lost in his thoughts and in the view that was Baekhyun, he didn't even realize that his mouth started blurting out the truth until it was too late. “I want you. “ Baekhyun's face closed up. “You had me. “ Chanyeol nodded, the lump in his throat swelling up. “I did. And I fucked up in the most colossal way anyone could. “ He felt another set of tears fighting their way up. Baekhyun nodded. “You did. Well, I guess that's what I get for going home with strangers. “ Chanyeol bit his wobbling lip and looked down at his hands. “So how about we change that? “ Chanyeol's head whipped back up. “Huh? “   
“Go out with me. Let's get to know each other. I want to see if we can work something out. “ Chanyeol gaped at Baekhyun. “What if I hurt you? “ Baekhyun shrugged. “Then I'll dump you. “ Chanyeol opened and closed his mouth like a retarded fish. “Why are you doing this? “ Baekhyun shrugged. “Your first love does strange things to you, huh? “ Chanyeol choked on air. “Pick me up Thursday at eight. “ He gave Chanyeol a wink and sashayed out of the room. 

Why did I do that? Stupid. What if he's just playing again? Baekhyun hit himself flat in the face, bit his heart still felt happier than ever. Then I'll just dump him. 

Chanyeol knocked on the door nervously. He had reserved a table in the best restaurant around. He straightened his shoulders. I have a second chance which I won't fuck up. The door opened and Chanyeol's jaw dropped. Baekhyun had looked beautiful as a homeless boy. Now, clad in a suit and with light eyeliner, he looked... more beautiful? There was no strong enough word for how he looked. “H-hey. “ Did I just stutter? Baekhyun gave him a blinding smile. “Lead the way, then. “ Chanyeol grinned back. “Gladly. “ only to almost suffer a heart attack when Baekhyun hooked his arm into his own. 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun's tongue swept over Chanyeol's lower lip, asking for entrance which Chanyeol gladly granted. As their tongues clashed, a shudder ran down Chanyeol's spine. He gripped Baekhyun's hips and pulled the man close to him. Then, he bucked his hip, creating friction between both their members and drawing a sweet moan from his lover. He felt Baekhyun's hands on his belt. He pulled back and took a look at the beautiful man in his arms. His cheeks were a little flushed, his pupils dilated and his breathing was ragged.   
Only I can make him like this. Chanyeol felt the urge to throw Baekhyun on the bed and fuck the brains out of him. Shit. He backed off. “I don't want to hurt you, Baek. “ Baekhyun, who had followed his step back drew his lips over Chanyeol's jaw. “You won't. I trust you. “ Chanyeol whimpered at the sensation of Baekhyun's breath on his skin. “But you don't trust yourself, do you? “ Chanyeol shook his head lightly only to be pushed on the bed by his boyfriend. Baekhyun straddled him. “It's been eight months, and we've never gone past cuddling. “ Baekhyun stroked up Chanyeol's chest, lifting his arms up as well. He got rid of Chanyeol's shirt, then Chanyeol heard a click.   
When he loomed up, he found his wrists chained to the headboard. “Is this okay? “ Baekhyun asked quietly. “I know you're afraid of taking out your sexual frustration on me, but no release for a year isn't going to make anything better. You can't hurt me like this. Let me make you feel good. “   
Chanyeol gave a small nod. The idea was good. He lifted his pelvis, allowing Baekhyun to pull off his pants. Baekhyun smiled and pushed them off, making Chanyeol hiss at the temperature difference between his pants and the air.   
He didn't feel the cold for very long, though. Baekhyun licked over the tip of his cock briefly before engulfing the whole member in his mouth, making Chanyeol hiss at the unexpected wave of pleasure the crashed down on him. “Holy shit, Baek. “ Baekhyun just hummed, sending vibrations down his dick and making him jerk. Then, he flatted his tongue against the underside of the shaft and began bobbing his head up and down. Chanyeol was in heaven.   
It didn't even take five minutes to get Chanyeol close. “Ah, Baek, stop, I'm gonna... “ Baekhyun lifted his head. “You really weren't joking when you said no relief at all, huh... “ He smirked down him. Chanyeol pouted a bit. “Not my fault you're so amazing... “   
Baekhyun just smiled and gave him a kiss. Then he started sucking on his fingers. As he moved his and behind himself, Chanyeol had an idea. “Wait. “ Baekhyun stopped in motion and cocked his head at Chanyeol. Chanyeol felt himself blush. He wasn't embarrassed or anything, he was just... “I w-want you to... “ Chanyeol blushed even harder without even finishing his sentence, but he spread his legs a bit. Baekhyun understood. “Really? “ Chanyeol nodded. He trusted Baekhyun. And if he was already giving him the control, why not give him all of it? Maybe his inner control freak would subside.   
Baekhyun nodded and got off the bed. Chanyeol heard him rummaging for a bit, then he came back with a bottle of lube.   
Answering to the surprised look he got, Baekhyun explained. “No way in hell I'm hurting you. “ It made Chanyeol's heart flutter. He was grinning like and idiot, but it was fine. He was Baekhyun's idiot.   
Baekhyun generously spread the lube over his fingers and then brought his index finger down to Chanyeol's hole, rubbing it gently across it and getting Chanyeol used to the feeling of stimulation down there. It felt nicer that Chanyeol expected.   
“I'm going in “ Baekhyun warned and slipped one finger inside Chanyeol. It felt weird, but not bad. Baekhyun slowly moved the finger in and out, and picking up pace very carefully.   
“I'll add a second one. “ Chanyeol nodded and soon felt another finger prod his ass. This one did sting a little, but it was nothing that he couldn't handle as he watched the concentrated expression on his lover's face. He felt Baekhyun scissoring his delicate fingers. It was starting to feel good.   
“More. “ He begged. Baekhyun complied. He added a third finger and started thrusting his fingers in and out of Chanyeol at a more rapid pace. Then, he curled his fingers, making Chanyeol jolt in pleasure and release a loud moan. Baekhyun smirked and continued working that little bundle of nerves inside Chanyeol.   
“Baekhyun. More, please. “ Baekhyun nodded and pulled his fingers out, leaving Chanyeol to feel empty. “Are you sure about this? “ Chanyeol nodded. This felt amazing. Baekhyun pressed the tip of his cock against Chanyeol's entrance and slipped in. It was definitely more of a stretch than the fingers, but Baekhyun prepared him well. “Move. “   
Baekhyun started by slowly grinding his hips before transitioning to shallow, then to actual thrusts. As the blunt tip of his cock hit Chanyeol's prostate, Chanyeol yelled. Baekhyun smiled down on him and kissed him gently.   
“Baek, I'm close. “ “Me too. “ His lover grunted out. Baekhyun came only seconds before Chanyeol. The feeling of Baekhyun's seed spilling into his throbbing core tipped Chanyeol over the edge as well.   
“I love you, Baekhyun. “ “I love you, too, Chanyeol. “


End file.
